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SECRET SEX LIVES: SWINGERS
WHAT IS A SWINGER? SWINGER DICTIONARY OF TERMS AND PHRASES
Swinger Lifestyle

The swingers' lifestyle is as varied and diverse as jazz. Some couples are completely happy just to go to a stripclub together and whisper fantasies in each other's ears while they watch the mesmerizing dancers. Others live very ordinary lives except on weekends, when they go to swingers' clubs or house parties, or just have some friends over. And some actually have homes that have 3 or more polyamorous people living in a multi-person relationship, full time!
There are levels of involvement everywhere and in between, and your sexual limits can be as unique as you are – maybe you and your spouse want a hot bisexual female for a long hot tub evening, music and wine and all the steam that comes with it (whew!)…
Maybe you want to exchange spouses with that new couple you met for a delicious session of multi-person hot fudge sundae. Whatever the involvement you choose, you'll need a place where you can stay in touch with the lifestyle and its sexy patrons – a resource, if you will. Well that resource is now yours - right here, at Real-Swingers-Ads.com.


Swingers Club Listings

Think that swing clubs are only in big and glamorous cities like New York, Miami, and LA? Guess again – they're all over the country, in cities big and small. Is there one near you? Find out at Real-Swingers-Ads.com 's Club Listings section http://www.real-swingers-ads.com/swingersocialnetwork.htm .
Find swinging couples nearest you. Traveling? Find people in your destination city. Complete with website links to the clubs' own pages, you're only two clicks from a virtual tour of every swing club in America.
Membership and door fees? BYOB? On premise? Got a hot tub? When are single men permitted? How about a bi-ladies night? It's a great way to learn the lifestyle lay of the land, and better yet, take a tour with your lady and plan a swinging weekend at your favorite swing club in the world.


Couples Dating

So you've met a couple or a single bi-female that you and your spouse think is hot, and now you're ready to go out on a date… isn't that kind of weird? Where will we go? Are we supposed to talk about sex? What if they're crazy?
The answers to those four questions are 1) yes at first, 2) wherever you'd go on a regular date, 3) only if you like to, and 4) we're all a little crazy, so stop acting silly. It's just a date after all, and a potentially delicious one at that. Maybe dinner. Maybe dancing. Maybe a movie. Or straight to a bar for Tequila shooters and a game of 20 sexy questions. Get together and do whatever you want, it's your call.
Don't be afraid to talk about sex, but don't hawk on it either. The phrase “going with the flow” has never been more appropriate, just relax and do/say what comes naturally. Don't forget to be completely honest about what you're doing in the lifestyle, even if you're just curious. And don't be shy about asking about their experience in the lifestyle too. Swingers often refer to group chemistry as a “vibe”, and you'll hear it more and more. The vibe is an overall feeling of clicking with several couples and singles at once and when nurtured properly, can land you flesh-deep in erotic play for hours and hours… and hours more.


Bisexual Females

They say that love makes the world go ‘round… well in the lifestyle, love has a name and thy name is single bisexual female. Almost everybody in the lifestyle is seeking a bisexual female, and most married and committed women in the lifestyle are bisexual or bi-curious.
Think about it: Straight men want women, by definition. The only thing they want more than a woman is two women… or three or four, but you get the idea. Well their wives, whomever they are, have had either bisexual experiences in the past or at least considered it a possibility for the future. So when you get right down to it, the fantasy for almost everyone in the lifestyle, male or female, is more experiences with women.
Single bi-females are also rare, as you can imagine. They're so few and far between, in fact, they have a nickname ~ unicorns. You know, like after the mythical creatures that everyone wants to believe in, but nobody's ever seen? Well bi-females aren't quite that rare, but they're more the exception than the rule. Why? Because bisexual women don't usually stay single for long, they usually and quickly become part of a swing couple.


Swingers Chat

Anyone who's ever been online has been in a chat room… it's one of the things that made the internet so popular in the first place, right? Well at Real-Swingers-Ads.com, we take chat to a whole new level. Place photos right in the chat room. Thumbnail photos of who's chatting. One click, and instantly you know who you're talking to, what they look like, and most importantly, what gets their motor running.
It's a great place to touch base and ride the vibe… we can't go out to clubs and parties all the time, right? The chat room is that virtual orgy that keeps that warm, erotic glow even when you can't go to an inviting house party or club.
But with all the delicious new friends you make by chatting (both for local play and for the traveling playcouple), you'll be at houses and steamy parties as often as you wish… you could even host your own.Learn to flirt again.
Are you a newbie looking to pick up the pace? Are you a seasoned player looking to de-virginize the newbies? Want some hot and sexy group chat? Want to learn everything you ever needed to know about a swing club before you go? Jump in the chat room before the weekend, and find some great connections, and then some more.


Swinging Couples

The difference between dating and swinging is couples, plain as that. Are you a swinging couple? Well there's really only one way to find that out, but there are a few ways you can check out whether or not you might find orgies appealing (was there ever a question??). Simply ask yourself and your spouse some questions, and make sure you give yourselves honest answers – there will be a quiz on this later.
Is the lady of the house bisexual? Has she ever fantasized about being with a woman? With another man? With more than one sexual partner at the same time? Is either of you the jealous type? Possessive? Insecure?
Do you have a sex drive like the energizer bunny? Do you both? Do you like to whisper naughty things in each other's ear while you're in bed? Do you like the idea of only having sex with one person until you die? Does that idea sound like fun to anyone?
Swinging is not for everyone – one of the best things about our clubs is that you can set up a trial membership for free. You can add pictures and everything. Read the message boards, hear from the mouths of other swingers. Read other couples' profiles. Do these people sound like you? Does it feel like you've arrived home? Do you catch yourself reading a profile and saying “Honey, this pair I am looking at is AMAZING!”… and if not, simply let the free membership expire, and on you go with a little more knowledge than before… after all, isn't learning and broadening your horizons the whole point of living each day out loud?


Types Of Swingers

As you'll quickly notice, there are many levels of swinger involvement. Whatever the craving, however, swingers almost always fall into a two broad groups, with some sub-groups within.
SOFT SWING : This is usually a couple's first few baby steps toward the lifestyle. Soft swingers themselves fall into three different categories themselves, and this is why communication is sooooo important when hooking up with a new couple for the first time. The three sub-groups play differently and when combined make up about 75% of the lifestyle's patrons:
1. SAME ROOM – This is when a committed couple is in the same room with another couple, having sex with their own spouse while another couple either does the same or watches. Same room soft swingers get aroused by the mere presence of another set of eyes… watching and being watched heightens their erotic pleasure which leads to much more explosive orgasms. They will, however, for the most part only play sexually with their own spouse. Even hardcore swingers (detailed below) usually start out in some sort of mild same-room scenario, and might spend years in this category before exploring further.
2. GIRL-GIRL ONLY – Two or more women play with each other in hot girl-girl action (just like the movies, and exactly like your fantasies), and their husbands either watch from the sidelines or participate only with their own wives. Most suited for this activity are bisexual women/bi-curious women and voyeuristic men.
3. SOFTCORE WIFE-SWAPPING – Women and men will switch sexual partners and play the day away, but there is no sexual intercourse. Activities include kissing, flirting, caressing, and oral sex. With this, there is still most often plenty of girl-girl action still going on, so the combinations are quite fun ?. Couples into softcore wife-swapping usually like the variety of new sexual partners, but prefer to save the intimacy of sex for each other.
FULL SWAP: Full swap has no real sub-groups and is quite straight forward ~ It is wife-swapping for fucking, plain and simple. It is completely hardcore, the ultimate in sexual adventure, and not for the possessive or jealous. This can also include women who like to have two or more men servicing them at once in a gang-bang (if you've never watched a woman do DP in person, you're really missing something), and can certainly include lots of girl-girl action. Full swap couples make up about 25% of all swingers, and if you ever find yourself in a full-swap encounter, leave your inhibitions at the door, strap-in, and get ready for a ride that you will never forget. While we all know that there's nothing like a new sex partner, the trade off is that another guy gets to fuck your wife. So do a head-check and find out if watching your wife screaming in ecstasy while she takes another man's cock to the hilt is on your list of fantasies.
In personal ads you'll find a great many people that say, “we're soft swing but will full-swap with the right couple”. This is totally normal, because swingers know that the night and its rules can change when the vibe changes… leaving your options open doesn't mean you can't change them back later, so remember to stay open-minded and enjoy yourself.


Swingers Dictionary
  • AC/DC
    Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity; Bi; Bisexual.
  • ADULT
    Euphemism for pornographic.
  • ALL CULTURES
    Person or couple who enjoys all fetishes and sexual activities
  • AMERICAN CULTURE
    Man on top, the missionary position.
  • ANAL SEX
    Anal intercourse; see Greek, Greek Culture.
  • ANALINGUS
    Oral contact or stimulation of the anus of one partner by kissing, licking, or sucking of the other.
  • ANIMAL TRAINING
    Sexual activity with animals, usually dogs and women; Bestiality
  • ARTS
    Euphemism for fetishes; Cultures

  • B&D or B/D
    Bondage and discipline; use of various methods to restrain someone while administering discipline, usually done by a "master" to his/her "slave".
  • BBW
    Big Beautiful Woman; Referring to women that may not be their "ideal" weight, but are comfortable with the size that they are..
  • BESTIALITY
    see ANIMAL TRAINING
  • BI
    Bisexual: Versatile (see AC/DC)
  • BI-CURIOUS
    A Male or Female who is interested in trying same-sex activities.
  • BIZARRE
    Unusual sexual desires.
  • BONDAGE
    A sexual fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating sexual partner. The person doing the binding is considered "dominant" while the person being bound is considered "submissive."

  • CAN ENTERTAIN
    Advertiser willing to invite others to their home for swinging.
  • CAN TRAVEL
    Advertiser willing to travel to your home to swing.
  • CANING
    A spanking fetish employing a light cane usually bamboo or other light wood.
  • CHEATING
    Sexual activity with others without spouse's knowledge and/or consent.
  • CLEAN
    Hygienic; Free of sexually transmitted diseases.
  • CLOSED DOOR
    (see CLOSED SWINGING)
  • CLOSED SWINGING
    Sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms, usually in the same house. Provides a maximum of privacy.
  • CLOSET SWINGER
    A person who hides the fact that he/she is a swinger. (see DISCREET)
  • COUPLE
    In swinging, a man and a woman. May be married, living together (cohabitating), committed (on going relationship) or a single couple dating for swinging purposes.
  • CPL
    (see COUPLE)
  • CUCKOLD
    While the originally meaning is the husband of a wife who cheats, it has come to mean (more often than not) a husband who's wife plays without him and comes home to tell him about it. It can also mean a husband who watches his wife play with others, or is forced to watch. This can also be reversed on the wife. Since different people use the word to mean different things, it is best to ask the people using the word in order to clarify the definition.
  • CULTURE
    Euphemism for Fetish or Arts.
  • CUNNILINGUS
    Stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by the mouth especially the tongue and lips, and sometimes the teeth (see FRENCH CULTURE)

  • DILDO
    An artificial penis, usually made of rubber or plastic, for sexual stimulation of the vagina and sometimes the anus.
  • DIRECTOR
    The term used to describe the principal person who runs or otherwise operates a swing club, generally the owner. A person who works for the director and is responsible for party or club operation whether or not for pay, is generally called a Manager.
  • DISCIPLINE
    A sexual fetish in which one partner dominates the other, a willing participant. Often includes physical punishment of the submissive partner, ranges from physical restraint to mild spankings to painful beatings.
  • DISCREET OR DISCRETION
    Asking those who write or call to exercise caution so that children or others who may open mail or answer phone will not be offended and/or made aware of the swinging activity.
  • DOCILE
    Willing to receive bondage and/or discipline (see SUBMISSIVE).
  • DOMINANT
    A sexual partner in control of a willing submissive partner.

  • ENGLISH CULTURE
    Sexual stimulation from spanking or caning.
  • ENTERTAIN
    (see CAN ENTERTAIN)
  • EXHIBITIONIST
    Behavior in which an individual experiences sexual arousal or pleasure from displaying his/her body. Enjoys being watched.

  • F
    Female.
  • FELLATIO
    Sexual stimulation of the penis by the mouth, especially by the tongue and lips and sometimes teeth.
  • FETISH
    Sexual arousal and pleasure through use of non-sexual objects, actions or non-genital anatomy.
  • FLAGELLATION
    Sexual stimulation derived from pain, usually whipping or spanking.
  • FRENCH CULTURE
    Oral-genital sexual activity; (see Fellatio, Cunnilingus).
  • FUN AND GAMES
    Euphemism for sexual activity.

  • GAY
    A homosexual person, male or female. A gay female may also be called a Lesbian.
  • GBM
    Gay Black Male
  • GENEROUS
    Refers to money for sex.
  • GREEK CULTURE
    Anal-penile intercourse.
  • GROUP ROOM
    Room set aside for group sex, generally furnished with wall-to-wall mattresses or pads. Term is prevalent in western US (see MATROOM).
  • GROUP SEX
    Swinging; Sexual activity between three or more people.
  • GWM
    Gay White Male.

  • HARD CORE
    A swing party or swing engagement where sexual interaction is assumed and expected.
  • HARD SWINGING
    (see HARD CORE).
  • HEAD
    Oral-genital sexual activity; "Giving head" (see French Culture ).
  • HEDONIST
    Someone who lives for pleasure.
  • HETEROSEXUAL
    Sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex.
  • HOMOSEXUAL
    Sexual attraction to members of the same sex. (See GAY).
  • HORNY
    Sexually tense; In need of sexual pleasure.
  • HUNG
    Refers to a man with a large penis.
  • HWP
    Height-Weight Proportionate; Someone who is at their ideal body weight.

  • INDOOR
    Swinging activities in general.
  • INDOOR SPORTS
    (See INDOOR)
  • INTERESTED IN FRIENDSHIP
    Seeks a swinging relationship that includes emotional and recreational values.
  • IRL
    In Real Life; Used in ads or online chat.
  • ISO
    In Search Of; Used in ads; MWC ISO Single Female.

  • LEATHER
    A fetish; Sexual stimulation through the wearing or touching of leather or leather garments.
  • LESBIAN
    A woman sexually and emotionally attracted to other women. (see GAY).
  • LTR
    Long Term Relationship.

  • MARITAL AIDS
    Dildos, vibrators, and other devices used for sexual pleasure of self and others.
  • MASOCHISM
    Sexual gratification through receiving pain and humiliation from others.
  • MASTER/SLAVE
    Participants in a bondage and discipline sexual relationship. (see B&D, BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE)
  • MATROOM
    Room set aside for group sex. Principally an eastern US term (see GROUP ROOM).
  • MEET FOR PLEASURE
    Will meet for swinging sex; no pretense for social or emotional interaction not directly related to sexual activity.

  • MENAGE A' TROIS
    Three people, two of one sex, one of the opposite sex in a swinging interaction. (see THREESOME, TRIAD).
  • MORESOMES
    More than three people in a swinging interaction. (see GROUP SEX).
  • MBC
    Married Black Couple.
  • MBiC
    Married Bisexual Couple.
  • MWC
    Married White Couple.

  • NASCA
    The North American Swing Club Association. An association of swing clubs and magazines to promote swinging as the viable and beneficial lifestyle it has become. Levels of members: Affiliate Club, General, Associate and Institutional for swing clubs and magazines, general swinging community, media and institutions of learning and research.
  • NEWCOMERS
    New people in swinging; First-timers.
  • NONSMOKER
    Does not smoke. If used in personal ad means only those who do not smoke are sought for swinging purposes.

  • OFF-PREMISE
    No swinging takes place at the club or party; you meet and make your own arrangements. Great for newcomers.
  • OPEN DOOR
    (see OPEN SWINGING).
  • OPEN SWINGING
    A couple swinging with another couple in the same room; Several or all participating couples together in the same room. A minimum of privacy.
  • ORAL-GENITAL
    (see FRENCH CULTURE, CUNNILINGUS, FELLATIO, HEAD).
  • ORGY
    Sexual interaction among several men and women in the same room; Complete absence of inhibition in everyone taking part; group sex.

  • PARTY
    Gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging.
  • PARTY CLOTHES
    Clothing particularly adapted for swing party wear, Includes wear to the party and wear to change into during the party. The latter includes robes, lingerie, terry cloth wrap-arounds and other simple wear that is easily removed, shows the wearer to best advantage and often makes selected parts of the body easily available for erotic courting and play.
  • PARTY HOUSE (Western US)
    A non-membership swing club offering a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties.
  • PASSIVE
    Quiet, submissive non-contributor, willing to receive corrective training. Docile and submissive in swinging. (see DISCIPLINE).
  • PHOTO
    Interested in exchange of nude or sexually explicit photos of self with similar photos of others.
  • PHOTOGRAPHY
    Interested in exchange and/or making of nude or sexually explicit photographs, color slides or movies with similar photographs, slides or movies of others; interested in meeting with others for the making of these photographs.
  • P/P
    Photo and phone number (used in personal ads).
  • PRO
    Professional; i.e. prostitutes or paid escorts.

  • RECREATIONAL SWINGER
    A person who practices swinging primary as a recreational diversion; not interested in forming any long term friendship or emotional attachment.
  • RESTRAINT
    Mild bondage used in sexual fantasy enactments.
  • ROMAN
    Group sex, orgies, the party scene, etc (see ROMAN CULTURE).
  • ROMAN CULTURE
    Sexual orgies.
  • RUBBER
    Condom means of contraception; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, usually associated with B&D.

  • SADISM
    Sexual gratification through inflicting pain and humiliation on others.
  • SAFE
    Used to describe a person who cannot conceive or impregnate; a man who has had a vasectomy; Naturally or surgically sterile.
  • S.A.S.E.
    Self-addressed stamped envelope.
  • SBF
    Single Black Female.
  • SBiF
    Single Bisexual Female.
  • SBM
    Single Black Male.
  • SGL
    (see SINGLE).
  • S&M or S/M
    Sadism and Masochism (see SADISM, MASOCHISM).
  • SINGLE
    A swinger without a partner, does not refer to marital status.
  • SOCIAL
    A party, dance or other gathering usually sponsored by a swing club or magazine, for swingers to meet and socialize. There is no swinging at a social, but privately arranged swinging may follow a social.
  • SOCIAL SWING CLUB
    A swing club, generally private membership that offers social and swinging activities including a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. They may also offer educational and travel activities. Usually there is a membership fee and either party fees, party donations or a regular maintenance fee or dues. Party attendance may be restricted to couples though the marital status of the couple is rarely important.
  • SODOMY
    Non-coital, especially anal or oral, copulation with either an opposite sex or same sex partner.
  • SOFT SWINGERS
    Couples who only have intercourse with their own partner. No swapping for intercourse.
  • SOFT SWINGING
    The term used to describe same-room sex, watching/being watched, or any sexual encounter up to, but not including intercourse, with someone other than your spouse. The first experience for many couples some type of soft-swinging. (see HARD SWINGING, HARD CORE).
  • SRS
    Same Room Sex (see SOFT SWINGING).
  • STD
    Sexually Transmitted Disease. A term developed in the late 1970's to replace VD as the latter carried social and moral implications in the minds of many. These social and moral implications interfered with the legitimate treatment of sexually transmitted diseases as a medical problem.
  • S&M or S/M
    Sadism and Masochism (see SADISM, MASOCHISM).
  • STR or STR8
    (see STRAIGHT).
  • STRAIGHT
    Any person who is not interested in engaging in homosexual activity or A person who does not use drugs; also used by swingers to denote non-swinging people.
  • SUBMISSIVE
    Passive, wishes to be dominated (see Passive).
  • SWAPPING
    Two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity.
  • SWEDISH CULTURE
    Use of the hands especially in massage to sexually stimulate another.
  • SWF
    Single White Female.
  • SWING MAGAZINE
    A periodical catering to the swinging community. Usually carries personal ads of people wishing to meet others for swinging purposes. May also publish articles of general interest to the swinging community.
  • SWINGING
    An alternative lifestyle for consenting adults who enjoy social, recreational sexual activities with others, most often on a couple-to-couple basis, with full knowledge and mutual consent of both partners; single men and women are sometimes involved.
  • SWINGING LIFESTYLE
    Style of living with swinging a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life, and intimate relationships.
  • SWINGING MARRIAGE
    Marriage incorporating swinging and often, humanistic ideals.
  • SWM
    Single White Male.

  • TAN
    Tested Antibody Negative for HIV virus(AIDS).
  • THREESOME
    Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a swinging encounter. (see Menage a Trois).
  • TICKET
    A person, usually a woman, brought to a swing party solely to enable the male to gain entrance. The ticket generally has no intention to swing or is not free to swing.
  • TOYS
    Sexual aids (see MARITAL AIDS).
  • TRANSSEXUAL
    Individual who has undergone conversion from one gender to another through surgery and hormone treatments; or one who is in the process of gender conversion.
  • TRANSVESTITE
    A person who receives sexual gratification by wearing clothes identified with the opposite sex; not necessarily homosexual.
  • TRAVEL
    (see CAN TRAVEL).
  • TRIAD
    Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome.
  • TRIOLISM
    Used in personal ads to indicate desire for "threesomes". This is a common but confusing usage (see TRIAD).
  • TUBAL LIGATION
    Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the fallopian tubes to make a woman infertile. Also called a Band Aid Operation in reference to the small incision made just below the navel to enable the cutting and ligation.

  • UTOPIAN SWINGER
    A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals.

  • VASECTOMY
    Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the vas deferens to artificially sterilize a male.
  • VERSATILE
    Bisexual. (see AC/DC).
  • VIBRATOR
    Electrically run vibrating device for stimulation of the vagina by insertion or holding to outer lips, clitoris, breasts and the male penis. Some vibrators are penile shaped and are run by batteries while more expensive ones are for surface use and are run by an AC motor from a typical wall outlet. Vibrators are used by both men and women for self-stimulation and to sexually please another.
  • VOLUPTUOUS
    Fullness of beauty and form; usually used to refer to a woman with large well-formed breasts; may also refer to full but well formed hips.
  • VOYEUR
    A person who enjoys watching others in sexual acts.
  • VOYEURISM
    Sexual gratification by watching or peeping at others engaged in sexual activity.

  • WAY-OUTS/ WEIRDOS
    Those people interested in activities usually considered by the majority to be bizarre, kinky, unusual, or unconventional.